Monday, June 30, 2014

Confessions of a Second-Time Mom

I have a confession to make.

I'm bored.

I've been on Maternity Leave a whole week and a half, and I am going out of my mind bored. How did this happen?? For the past few months I've been bracing myself, preparing for this new baby to completely turn out lives upside down like the first one did. And now she's here, and dare I say it? Life feels pretty much the same. Yes, it's a whole lot cuter around here and I'm getting a lot less sleep, but other than that... well, it's like they say. All babies do is eat, sleep and poop. Not a whole lot for me to contribute there except to feed, cuddle and diaper.

After Sophie was born, I took five weeks of leave (extending my original four weeks) and it felt like I needed every minute of that time. Bryan was off work for the first two of those weeks, and the day he went back to work, I called my mom crying and made her come over because I didn't think I could handle being alone with the baby. The baby who ate, slept, pooped, and pretty much did nothing else. Today, after being home for a week, Bryan is going into the office for a half day, and I'm honestly relieved, not to get rid of him, but to be back in my pre-baby routine, if only for half a day. Today, for the first time in over a week, I got up with Sophie instead of sleeping in while Bryan or my in-laws took care of her. I got us both breakfast and checked my blogs like I used to do every morning (I say that like it's been months since I've done this instead of one week, because it feels like it's been that long!). The only thing different was that after Sophie was settled, I went upstairs to retrieve a still-sleeping Verity from her cradle and bring her down to the swing.

Granted, after Sophie was born, it (literally) took me longer to get back on my feet because I had stitches that took way too long to heal (This time I managed to completely avoid any stitching or tearing!! I'll tell you all about that excitement whenever I get around to writing Verity's birth story). I also had post-pardum depression, another thing I seem to have avoided this time around.

In thinking more about it, I think a major component in avoiding the post-pardum depression, and subsequently feeling a bit underwhelmed by the experience of going from one child to two, is the simple fact that I actually kinda know what I'm doing this time. I'm much more confident in my ability to care for this tiny creature, especially in comparison to the hell-on-wheels toddler I was already somehow managing to keep alive. I honestly can't tell whether she is an easy baby or Sophie was a difficult one, or if I was just inexperienced the first time around and more experienced this time. I'm sure the answer lies, as it usually does, in some happy medium between the two.

So that's all. I just wanted to give this space some love and sort of update you all on how we're doing over here. Which is bored. But that's OK, because bored is better than stitched up and depressed! Trust me on that one.

Allow me to leave you with this, your daily dose of adorable:

(Sophie calls her "Buddy". At least that's what it sounds like when she says it. Now I know why someone on one of the baby name forums suggested "Birdie" as a nickname for Verity "because that's how children pronounce it".)